I Don't Wanna Be In Love
by DMarEssence
Summary: Bella and Jake have a complicated relationship based on love and a little bit of hate. Songfic to the Good Charlotte song- I don't wanna be in love.


This is a little songfic I came up with while I was on an airplane. It's to the Good Charlotte song; I Don't Wanna be in Love. It's takes place at the start of _New Moon_, and ends in the middle of _Breaking Dawn_.

.com/watch?v=r_mhpRz0liA. That link is so you can listen to the song, if you haven't… I LOVE that song. The music video makes no sense, and has nothing to do with this piece, so don't watch, just listen.

…

..

.

Bella sank into the soft leather of Jacob's car, pulling her winter coat around her and trying not to look too miserable. It had been months since Edward had left, and all she could feel… _still…_ was emptiness inside her-like a big black hole threatening to envelope her.

He was part of her… and that part was now missing.

**She's going out to forget they were together**

Jacob glanced over into the passenger seat. Bella continued to stare with that same, melancholy expression out into the passing evergreens. He'd been trying to distract her since the break-up… but with little avail.

_That damn Edward… didn't he know how much he meant to Bella?I could kill him for hurting her like this. _

Jacob's brown eyes narrowed as he thought of the bronze haired bloodsucker. If he was really in love with her, like he claimed… why'd he leave her in pieces?

**All that time he was taking her for granted…**

_Selfish bastard. If Bella was mine, I'd never let her go. _Jacob allowed his mind to wander into the not-so-distant future, where Bella was whole again… with him by her side, a warm, comforting, _human being_. Not some undead scumbag.

"You okay Jake? You kinda zoned out there for a sec," Bella attempted, lifting her listless eyes from the scenery to look at her friend in the driver's seat.

"Huh, oh, yeah, sorry." Jacob slapped himself mentally. _I sound like an idiot. Alright, just play it cool…_

"You still thinking about that jerk?"

Another mental slap.

_I'm supposed to be making her feel better… not reminding her of-_

"I don't want to think about him. I'm with you right now," she continued, a small smile tugging at her lips as she recalled their 'date' to the Quileute beach.

**She wants to see if there's more than he gave, she's looking for-**

_That's right bloodsucker… she's with me right now. What did you ever give her, besides hopelessness and the possibility of a dark eternity?_

**He doesn't want her out there and alone now he knows she's movin' it knows she's using it now he's losing it **

"Well, I guess we're here," Jacob coughed nervously. Ah, the first official date was coming to a close, and the biggest question was, would he go for it? The gravel crunched under the tires of the Rabbit and the headlights blinked out as Jacob turned off the ignition.

"I guess we are." Bella offered, equally anxious.

_What am I doing? _Bella bit her lip, avoiding eye contact with the hungry wolf.

**She don't care**

As Jacob moved to close the gap between them, their lips resting together for the briefest of moments before Bella held up her hand, pressing his body back into the driver's seat. Rejection was written across his face.

"Bella, I-" Jake stuttered, reaching out to her as she unlocked the car door and stood outside in the early spring air.

"Jake, it's not you… I just… can't right now." As the door slammed, Jacob waited in the driveway for a moment and watched as the light to Bella's room flickered on, then off when she finally went to bed.

He banged his head on the steering wheel as he thought of Bella, and her poor, broken heart.

**Everybody put up your hands, say 'I don't wanna be in love'**

**I don't wanna be in love  
**

After a minute or two of staring into the darkness, Jake finally brought the engine to life, and backed out of the driveway, his eyes burning with fury over the raw despair that the vampire Edward had left in his wake.

**If you've got nothing, left say 'I don't wanna be in love'  
**

**I don't wanna be in love  
**

"Listen Jake… I'm sorry about yesterday. I hope you understand that Edward was part of my life and-" Bella had skipped her sixth period class just so she could catch the young werewolf as he was heading home from school in the other part of Forks, WA.

"-and you'll never forget him, I get it," Jake huffed, trying not to let her see his sheer disappointment. Shuffling her feet uncomfortably, Bella looked up to meet his gaze.

"_Actually,_ I was going to say that it'll take some time, but I want to get over him."

Jake's face lit up.

_He'd give her another chance to be human… to be in love. _

**Back it up now- you've got a reason to live- say 'I don't wanna be in love'  
**

******

...

..

.

Jacob Black sat fuming in his garage, trying to figure out where he'd let her get away.

"_Jake… I never made any guarantees. I guess, me and you just weren't meant to be."_

The werewolf sighed, remembering the conversation he'd had with Bella only a few hours ago. Now that Edward was back, he hardly got to see her anymore.

_I'm the one who made her whole again, not him. I'm the one who gave her life, hope and all those things she lost because of that, that leech._

**  
He was always giving her attention, looking hard to find the things she mentioned**

He remembered back farther- to the day he'd confided in her his secret, the one that allowed him to morph into a dangerous creature of the night, only to protect and defend innocents like her against demons like Edward and the Cullens.

**He was dedicated but most suckers hated… That girl was fine but she didn't appreciate him  
**

_I gave her everything, and all I got back was an empty box- memories that meant nothing to her. _**  
**

Life wasn't fair, Jacob decided, running into the house to grab the keys to his beat up old car- the one he'd taken Bella out in almost every night since they'd started dating… nearly six months ago.

"Jake, hey man, where ya going? You got patrol tonight, don't forget." Quil and Embry arrived just as Jacob was planning his great escape from this pathetic, meaningless world he'd fallen into where villains like vampires got the girls, not good guys like him.

"Yeah, I won't," Jake shouted out the window as he drove past his friends on his way out of the drive. Feeling the scenes whip by him at such high speeds reminded him of how much he'd been trying to leave behind.

He'd never asked for this werewolf ability, sure it came in handy now and again, but for once, Jake wished he could be normal- go out and pick up a girl and not sweat about the heavy weight his secret rested on his shoulders.

He'd never be normal… not back there, in Forks.

**He had to get out and he ain't comin home now. He's tryin to forget her, when he first met her… when they first got together**

**Everybody put up your hands, say 'I don't wanna be in love'**

**  
**Glancing out the window at the people in the streets of Port Angeles made Jacob anxious. He knew what he was doing was hopeless, but he already felt bereft, so what was the point?

_Come on damn it, just _imprint _already, _he rolled his eyes in frustration. The woman he was meant to spend the rest of his life with was already planning on spending her's with someone else… someone he despised.

**I don't wanna be in love  
**

_I'm not mad at Bella, no, I could never be mad at her… I just don't want to be in love. _

**If you've got nothing left, say 'I don't wanna be in love'**

**I don't wanna be in love  
**

When the sun set over the streets of the city, Jacob clambered back in his car after sitting at a rest stop thinking for the past hour and headed home, listening to the loudest metal music he could find on the radio and drown out his own sorrows.

_If some idiot like Edward could find someone… then so can I. _

**Back it up now- you've got a reason to live- say 'I don't wanna be in love'  
**

****  
**

Jacob could only bring himself to attend the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen for an hour at most. As much as he wanted to steal Bella away from all of it, deep down, he wanted her to be happy, with whomever she chose.

**Stop what you're doin'**

_I can't let her see me… it'll break her heart. _

"Jake?"

Too late.

"Hey Bella, long time no see," Jacob grumbled sheepishly, taking in Bella's beauty for a moment before she interrupted his train of thought.

"Where've you been? Billy's been worried sick about you," she said hurriedly, as she began wringing her hands.

"Just Billy?" he joked back, knowing she missed him just as much as he'd missed her.

"Of course I missed you, you jerk. You're my best friend."

_Should've seen that coming._ Jake sighed, and took Bella's hand as he began dancing with her, twirling her around slowly to the beat of the band, though it was far in the background.

All he could see was her, and the dark future that awaited her… but he wouldn't hurt her, at least, not if he could help it.

**You don't wanna ruin the chance that you got to  
find a new one…**

When Jake first set eyes on Renesmee Carlie Cullen, his heart nearly dropped out of his chest. It was like she called to him.

The thought that she was Bella's daughter scared him even more-that he even wanted the baby dead to save Bella's life.

But now… this baby was a whole new chance at love and life, not just for the Cullen's, but for him too.

_I can't believe I gave up one love… for another. I guess it was worth the wait. _

**Say 'I don't wanna be in love'…**

I admit, the song was modified for my own personal uses (sorry G.C. fans), and also that I haven't read the Twilight books in like, forever, so I made up the details. I think Bella sucks, BTW, so if that reflected in the piece… there you go.

PS, also, I wrote this for people who already know the books pretty well, though there's not much story in this, and like I said, its an idea on an airplane, and when are those good ones?

~Dmar


End file.
